i COULDN*T HAVE SAiD iT BETTER MYSELF..

i TOOK THiS OFF OF MY BEST FRiEND AMANDA*S PAGE.. iT*S SO VERY WELL WRiTTEN AND SO VERY TRUE!!! THiS iS WHY i LOVE MY FRiENDS.. ESPECiALLY HER!

To me, marriage is important, it's everything. I don't think that a marriage has to last forever but I DO think you should stay true to the one you've sworn your heart to. Cheating shouldn't be an option because your partner deserves the truth without the lies and deception. Do you not think that the truth of you not loving them anymore will hurt them enough?
I don't see how people can aide in the destruction of a marriage and be remotely proud about it. People who make and break vows and think it's a joke are lost. Why would you want to be with someone who turns their back on someone they swore their heart to? Do you think they won't do the same to you? What is it that you think makes you special? You're not free from pain especially when you're "second best".
None of this is really my business but it's so hard to watch. I've never been married so I can't say I've ever been in the position to cheat on my husband/wife but I just don't think it's honorable. I'm a person who believes in love and married and people who destory it make me SUPER angry.
HOMEWRECKER...who wants that title? find someone who doesn't have prior commitments to other people!

REFLECTiON...

AS iT NEARS OCTOBER 7, YET AGAiN, i REFLECT BACK. i MiSS MY UNCLE "BUG" DOUG SO MUCH THESE DAYS. JUST THE FACT THAT i CAN*T PiCK UP THE PHONE, CALL HiM, AND HERE HiM MAKE THE FUNNiEST JOKES EVER. i CAN*T EVEN BEGiN TO iMAGiNE WHAT LiFE WOULD BE LiKE WiTH HiM AROUND RiGHT NOW. i LiKE TO JOKE WiTH MYSELF, AND TELL MYSELF THAT THE REASON ABiGAiL iS BEiNG SO STUBBORN iS B/C MY UNCLE BUG iS UP THERE MAKiNG HER WAiT UNTiL HiS BiRTHDAY TO BE BORN. MAYBE iT iS JUST WiSHFUL THANKiNG. MY UNCLE MEANT A LOT TO HiS FAMiLY. OUR BLOOD WAS WAY THiCKER THAN WATER. NO MATTER WHAT TRiALS OR TRiBULATiONS OUR FAMiLY WENT THROUGH. i WiSH HE WAS HERE RiGHT NOW TO GUiDE MY COUSiNS iN A BETTER PATH THEN THE ONES THEY HAVE CHOSEN. HE ALWAYS KNEW HOW TO MAKE THE HOLiDAYS SO WONDERFUL. i WiSH ABiGAiL WOULD HAVE AT LEAST GOTTEN TO SPEND ONE THANKGiViNG OR CHRiSTMAS WiTH HiM. SHE WOULD HAVE LOVED HiM TO PiECES!!! ANY WAY, JUST WANTED TO WRiTE A LiL BOUT HiM...

i LOVE YOU UNCLE BUG! GLAD YOU*RE UP THERE LOOKiNG OVER OUR FAMiLY AS ALWAYS PROTECTiNG US!

iS THERE LiGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL?

WELL, MONDAY NiGHT AT ABOUT 6PM i STARTED HAViNG CONTRACTiONS. THEY LASTED ABOUT 30 SECONDS AND WERE COMiNG EVERY 5 MiN. WELL, AT 11PM i DECiDED TO CALL THE ON CALL PAGER. THE DR TOLD ME TO GO AHEAD AND COME iN. SO, OFF TO PROViDENCE WE WENT! THE HOOKED ME UP AND DiD THE NST. WELL, SURE ENOUGH i WAS HAViNG REGULAR CONTRACTiONS. YAY! i THOUGHT... THEN THEY CHECKED ME. ONLY TO FiND OUT i AM A 2 AND 50% STiLL LiKE i WAS LAST WEDNESDAY! WELL, THEY CALL THE DR AND HE DECiDES i SHOULD GO WALK AROUND FOR AN HOUR, COME BACK, AND DO THE NST AGAiN. SO, OFF DOWN STAiRS RiCK N i GO! ME iN TWO HORRiBLE HOSPiTAL GOWNS, FLiP FLOPS THAT WERE KiLLiNG ME, AND SWEATiNG LiKE A PiG! WE DiD OUR HOUR WALK, HOOKED BACK UP TO THE NST, AND THE ONLY THiNG WALKiNG DiD WAS MAKE THE CONTRACTiONS STRONGER. STiLL THE SAME LENGTH & DiSTANCE APART, BUT TONS STRONGER. WELL, THEY DECiDE THAT SiNCE i DiDN*T DiLATE, THAT i SHOULD JUST GO HOME AND TAKE ViSTARiL AND "REST". SO, THAT*S WHAT i HAVE BEEN DOiNG. iT*S NOT FUN BEiNG A ZOMBiE ALL THE TiME, BUT AT LEAST i AM NOT iN WRETCHED PAiN ALL DAY! THE DOSAGE OF ViSTARiL (iT*S USED AS A PRE-SURGiCAL SEDATiVE) MAKES ME SLEEP, NO JOKE, FOR 12 HOURS. i DO, HOWEVER, GET UP TO EAT EVERY NOW AND AGAiN. iF iT WASN*T FOR ABiGAiL, i WOULDN*T EVEN HAVE THE DESiRE TO EAT ON THESE THiNGS! CRAZY! BUT EVERYTHiNG iS STiLL THE SAME! i AM JUST GLAD MY BOSS UNDERSTANDS AND iS LETTiNG ME SUFFER THROUGH THiS PAiN AT HOME iN BED! iT*S NiCE TO BE ABLE TO JUST LAY iN BED AND DO WHAT i AM SUPPOSE TO! MY PREGNANCY HAS BEEN PRETTY PERFECT ACTUALLY. i WAS PRETTY SWOLLEN OVER THE WEEKEND, BUT ALL OF THAT HAS SUBSiDED. iT*S WEiRD HOW ONE DAY i AM THE GOODYEAR BLiMP, AND THE NEXT DAY i AM JUST A CUTE LiL SHORT GiRL WiTH A BABY BUMP *LOL*. iT*S BEEN A FUN TiME SO FAR! i JUST CAN*T WAiT FOR HER TO GET HERE, BUT SHE*S TAKiNG HER OWN SWEET TiME...

ANOTHER GREAT SATURDAY!

SO, YESTERDAY WAS PRETTY GREAT! NiCOLE AND BAiLEY CAME OVER, AND BAiLEY DECORATED ONE OF ABBY*S SHELVES FOR HER ROOM! iT*S TOO DARN CUTE! THEN RiCK GOT HOME FROM WORK, i GOT READY, AND WE MET MY DAD AND UNCLE JOHN AT DON CARLOS FOR DiNNER. LET ME TELL YOU, THAT PLACE HAS THE NASTiEST CHiCKEN ENCHiLADAS EVER! THEiR SOUR CREAM SAUCE, iS LiTERALLY, MELTED SOUR CREAM! YUCK! SO, i ATE 3 SOPAPiLLAS iNSTEAD HAHA! THEN, BOUT 8, WE LEFT THERE, AND HEAD BACK TO OUR HOMETOWN MCGREGOR FOR FOUNDER*S DAY. THEY CLOSE DOWN THE WHOLE DOWNTOWN BLOCK, AND THERE*S A BAND, VENDORS THERE, FOOD, GAMES, BEER(WHiCH RiCK LiKED B/C HE COULD WALK THE STREETS OF OUR TOWN DRiNKiNG BEER AND LiSTENiNG TO GOOD MUSiC), AND EVERYONE FROM TOWN iS THERE! iT*S AWESOME! BEEN GOiNG TO FOUNDER*S DAY iN MCGREGOR SiNCE i WAS 16! THiS YEAR iT WAS BETTER B/C i GOT TO HOLD MY HUSBAND*S HAND AND WALK THE STREETS OF THE TOWN WE LiVE iN! iT WAS TOTALLY NiCE! WE TALKED TO SOME PEOPLE, AND JUST HUNG OUT AND JOKED WiTH EACH OTHER ALLLL NiGHT! iT WAS SO MUCH FUN! THEN WE CAME HOME ABOUT 10, BECAUSE RiCK WAS TiRED! i WAS READY TO PARTY THE NiGHT AWAY ON THE STREET HAHAHA! i CAN*T WAiT TO TAKE ABBY NEXT YEAR! WELL, WE FiNALLY WENT TO BED ABOUT ONE, BUT i DiDN*T GET ANY SLEEP AT ALL! i KEPT HAViNG THE WORST NiGHTMARES EVER! BUT NOTHiNG TO DO W/ RiCK OR ABBY! JUST OFF THE WALL, MOViE TYPE NiGHTMARES! MY HEAD STiLL HURTS FROM THEM! i HAD 3 DiFFERENT ONES! i WOULD WAKE UP W/ MY HEART POUNDiNG AND SWEATiNG, THEN TRY NOT TO FALL ASLEEP, BUT i WOULD, AND THEN WAKE UP AGAiN iN SHEAR TERROR! i DON*T KNOW WHAT*S GOiNG ON! AGH! BUT... STiLL NO BABY =-( SHE iS GOiNG TO BE FASHiONABLY LATE.. YA*LL WATCH...

TGiF!

i WENT SHOPPiNG TODAY. STiLL TRYiNG TO GET THiS BABY TO COME OUT! SHE HASN*T REALLY BUDGED! SHE HAS DROPPED LOWER THOUGH! i CAN SiT ON THE BED CROSSED LEGGED AND LEANED OVER THE COMPUTER W/OUT iT HURTiNG ANY MORE B/C SHE iS WAAAAY DOWN FROM MY LUNGS NOW!HAHA! ANY WAY, SHOPPiNG, i SHALL SAY, WAL-MART AND BORED PREGNANT WOMEN, YEAH, THEY DON*T MiX!! HAHA! i BOUGHT MORE STUFF FOR ABBY TODAY! THEN i WENT TO THE ULTiMATE ESCAPE SPA AND BOUGHT $145 WORTH OF MAKE-UP, AND THEN i CAME HOME AND PUT UP ABBY*S CURTAiNS. OH, i ALSO PAiNTED HER WALL LETTERS! THEY ARE WHiTE W/ GREEN POLKA DOTS AND ZEBRA RiBON TO HANG THEM ON THE WALL BY! AGH! TOO CUTE! i MUST SAY, i NEVER THOUGHT i COULD BE THiS CREATiVE! THE ONLY THiNG i HAVE REALLY BOUGHT THAT i HAVEN*T MADE MYSELF, iS THE BEDDiNG! EVERYTHiNG ELSE LiKE PiCTURE FRAMES, WALL LETTERS, DRAPES, SHELVES, ETC i HAVE BOUGHT VERY CHEAPY AND ADDED MY OWN FLARE! i DEFiNiTELY FEEL LiKE RiCK iS GOiNG TO SPOiL ABBY AND i ROTTEN! HE USE TO WANT TO BUY EVERYTHiNG FOR HiMSELF, AND NOW iT*S ALWAYS ,"BABY GO BUY YOU SOMETHiNG. i WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY AND FEEL GOOD ABOUT YOURSELF." OR "OK BABY WHATEVER YOU WANT FOR YOUR OR ABBY iS OK WiTH ME." BUT USUALLY i DON*T BUY iT! i ABOUT DiED WHEN i SPENT $145 ON MAKE-UP!!! i VERY SELDOM WEAR THE STUFF ANY WAY! UGH! OH! TOMORROW iS FOUNDER*S DAY iN MCGREGOR! iT*S A BiG STREET DANCE/BBQ COOK-OFF/TRACTOR RACE/CONCERT THiNG ON MAiN STREET! iT*S GOiNG TO BE SOOOO FUN! i CAN*T GO UNTiL 4 THOUGH!!! RiCK HAS TO WORK TOMORROW! UGH! BUT WE ARE GOiNG AS SOON AS HE GETS HOME! THEY HAVE LOTS OF VENDORS THAT SELL COOL STUFF, AND ALL THAT! i CAN*T WAiT! MAYBE i CAN FiND SOME MORE STUFF FOR ABBY AND i?!?! HEHEHE AGH! FiNALLY, LiFE iS WONDERFUL AND i HAVE EVERYTHiNG i WANT, NEED, & DESERVE! i AM A LUCKY GiRL!!! =-)

ANOTHER DAY!

SO i STARTED HAViNG THE WORST LOWER BACK PAIN LAST NiGHT ABOUT 3AM. i MEAN iT WOKE ME OUT OF MY SLEEP. WELL iT*S BEEN HAPPENiNG EVER SiNCE. i DON*T KNOW WHAT THE HECK iT iS! i STAYED HOME FROM WORK TODAY AND SLEPT LiTERALLY ALL DAY LONG. MY LEGS WERE PRETTY REDiSH/PURPLE THiS MORNiNG AT ABOUT 6. SO, i HAVE KEPT MY FEET UP. WHEN i*M NOT HAViNG SUDDEN SPiKES OF LOWER BACK PAiN, i AM UP WALKiNG. i AM REALLY HOPiNG SHE COMES SOON! i DON*T THiNK i CAN STAY LiKE THiS FOR MUCH LONGER! i DO, HOWEVER, STRANGLY FEEL BETTER? i STiLL HAVE THE LOWER SPiKES OF BACK PAiN, BUT i DON*T KNOW?! AGH! i JUST KNOW i AM SEVERLY iMPATiENT NOW! i HAVE ANOTHER DR*S APPT NEXT THURSDAY. i HOPE i DON*T MAKE iT TiLL THEN!!!!!

AND COUNTiNG...

SO, i WENT TO MY APPOiNTMENT TODAY! THE DOCTOR SAiD i WAS 2CM AND 50%!!! SHE SAiD MY CERViX WAS SOFT AND MUSHY! SO, LET*S PRAY THiS LiL GiRL COMES SOON!!! i AM SO ANXiOUS AND READY TO MEET HER iT*S UNREAL! i HAVE ALREADY PACKED MiNE & RiCK*S BAG, PACKED THE DiAPER BAG, & RiCK PUT THE CAR SEAT iN MY CAR THE OTHER DAY! YESTERDAY, i WENT AND VACCUMED, CLEANED THE CARPET, CLEANED THE iNSiDE, AND SPRAYED SOME CARPET FRESHENER ON THE CARPET! MY CAR iS BABY READY NOW! AGH! EVERYONE PRAY i DON*T HAVE TO STAY DiLATED AND SORE FOR THE NEXT 4 WEEKS!!! =-) YAY!